Category: Alternative Reality

The Nightmare

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Paul woke up with a gasp and ran into the kitchen. His mom was there, eating a bowl of cereal. Paul flopped down onto the chair next to her. “Mom, I just had the most awful nightmare. It’s one I had before. If I keep having the same nightmare over and over, do you think it means something? Maybe it’s a warning.”

“I don’t know. I keep dreaming I left you behind at the grocery store, but it hasn’t happened yet.”

Paul rolled his eyes. “That’s because you still make me hold onto the side of the grocery cart like a baby.”

“Well, you haven’t been left behind at the grocery store, have you?”

“If you somehow left me behind at the grocery store, I’d sit at the bench by the door and wait for you to come back for me,” Paul said.

Mom set down her spoon and looked at Paul for a moment. “I forget how much you’ve grown up.”

Paul scowled to hide how pleased he was with the compliment. “You say that like it’s so surprising.”

Mom laughed. “You’re right. How could I forget that you’re growing up? It’s not as though you lose your shoes every morning.”

“You shouldn’t be so mean to me. I just woke up from a terrible nightmare.”

Mom stopped laughing and patted Paul’s arm. “You’re right. Tell me all about it. In fact, wait just a moment. I have just the thing.”

She left the room, and returned a few minutes later with a book. She turned the cover to face Paul. He read the title out loud in a tone of disbelief.   “The Dreamer’s Dictionary?”

“You wanted to know what your dream meant, right?”

“And that will tell us?”

Mom shrugged. “Maybe.   Who knows? Personally I think dreams are really just weird things your brain makes up when it’s bored. But it couldn’t hurt to look things up, right?”

Paul sighed. “Fine, fine. Let me tell you about my nightmare. It’s about these guys in glowing masks.”

Mom flipped the pages. “Glowing means good things will happen. Oh, but masks mean deceit. Maybe a surprise party?”

“Who knows? Not me.   I guess it will be a surprise if it happens. Anyways, they were carrying these tulip plants around in little clay pots. Except, instead of a flower, they had a crab claw at the end of the stem.”

Mom opened the book again. “Seeing tulips in bloom is a good omen. Crabs mean tricky rivals. Unless you ate them?” Paul shook his head. Mom tapped a finger on her chin. “It will be good to have tricky rivals? Maybe they’re throwing the surprise party.”

Paul laughed. “Maybe.”

“So what happened? What did they do with the plants?”

Well, they carry them around, and if the plant pinches someone, there’s a flash of light and the person now has a mask and flower of their own. They go around infecting everyone, like zombies.   They walked on the power lines to get around more quickly.”

“Well, let’s see. Light means you find a solution. I can’t find pinching. Power lines mean success.”

Paul nodded. “Yes, but success for me or the zombies? And what did the transformation solve?”

“I don’t know. It’s your dream, dear. So, what happened next?”

“Well, I went to the news station so they could warn people to stay away from the plants. But the news anchors all had glowing masks. I ran away and ended up in the basement, which was full of the crab tulip plants in pots, all reaching for me. That’s when I wake up.”

“News… It says that you’ll get good news. That’s nice. Basement. Refuse plans that don’t appeal to you.”   Mom set down the dictionary.   “Really, it sounds like a nice dream dear. Good news and solutions and success. I think that according to this something nice is going to happen.”

“But it was scary and they were like zombies and it felt like a nightmare,” Paul said.

Mom smiled. “I guess sometimes we just don’t know what’s good for us.”

Paul frowned. “You’re still going to make me hold onto the side of the grocery cart, aren’t you?”

Mom picked up her spoon. “Probably.” She took a bite of cereal and made a face. “It’s soggy. That’s unfortunate.” She shoved the bowl towards Paul. “Do you like soggy cereal?”

Paul laughed. “No. Who does?” He went back to his room to get ready for the day, feeling much better than he did when he woke up.

He didn’t believe all of the weird stuff in the dream book, but maybe that meant that dreams mostly don’t mean anything at all. They really were just weird things your brain made up when it was bored. His brain just happened to like the weird dream with masks and crab claw tulips. He hoped it picked a new favorite soon.

 

The Ninja Jogging Suit

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Growing up, John wanted to be a pirate. Or a superhero. Or a ninja.   He hadn’t really planned on being an accountant. There just weren’t any promising superhero majors in college, and accounting was near the top of the list of majors when he was looking for an alternative.

Being an accountant wasn’t completely terrible. He didn’t save the world, but he did help people. And sometimes he saved them from bad guys.   Still, there were days after filling out too many tax forms when he wished for a cape or a parrot on his shoulder. Or both. Both would be nice.

So, when he was shopping for some new exercise clothes, he was drawn to a lightweight black outfit in the corner. It looked like something ninja would wear. The only thing better would be if it came with throwing stars. Or a parrot.

John hurried home to show his wife Sandra. “Look, it’s a ninja uniform. I always wanted to be a ninja.”

Sandra looked up from her book. “It’s quite dark, and it doesn’t have a reflective stripe.”

“Ninjas don’t need reflective stripes,” John said.

“You’ll need to be careful crossing streets and don’t run at night.”

“Obviously.”

Sandra sighed. “Well, have fun then.”

The ninja jogging suit was more effective than he’d imagined. He didn’t have to try hard at all to blend in with his surroundings.

Even running during the day, no one could see him. It was like he’d somehow become invisible. Cars nearly hit him and splashed him with water from puddles on the road, people bumped into him and knocked him over, and someone even dumped their lawn clippings onto him.

At first, John was thrilled. He was a real ninja. It was like suddenly discovering he had a superpower after all. What could he do with his newfound invisibility? John tried to think of something.

He didn’t want to steal anything. He wasn’t an assassin. He wasn’t a spy, either. Or a soldier. Or a magician.

Really, all it was good for was getting him into trouble. Sandra was unhappy with all of the bruises and grass clippings he came home with. “But I never get chased by big dogs,” John pointed out. Sandra wasn’t impressed.

After a few too many terrible runs, John gave up and decided to buy a new jogging suit. He picked up a suit that was neon blue with a reflective stripe.   When he changed into it for a run, Sandra set down her book with a smile.

“That looks much better,” she said.

“I miss being a ninja already. I can’t blend in wearing this.”

Sandra laughed. “It’s safer. Isn’t there some superhero in a blue suit?”

“Not like this one,” John said.

“Then you get to make one up, super powers and all,” Sandra said, and she picked up her book again.

John thought about it. He liked that idea. So, the next time he went running, he imagined making it rain and turning things to ice. It made the run much more entertaining. It was also nice that the cars and people gave him plenty of space and no one dumped lawn clippings on him.

“Being the Weather Maestro is much better than being a ninja,” he told Sandra.

“I’m just happy you’re safe,” she said with a smile and handed him an apple.

John took the apple and smiled back. “Now all I need is a parrot.”

Monster Family

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Ryan’s parents went out to a movie one night, and they didn’t come home.   After a lot of confusion that Ryan didn’t really pay attention to, he ended up staying with Great-Aunt Josephine.   “It’s just for a week, until we can get everyone together for a family meeting. I’m too old to have children yelling and running around the house,” she said.

It didn’t matter that Ryan didn’t feel like running or yelling. Great-Aunt Josephine did not approve of him at all. She said that he chewed too loud and didn’t brush his teeth long enough and his shirts were much too wrinkled.

Ryan didn’t approve of Great-Aunt Josephine either, but he was too polite to say so.

When it was time for the family meeting, every one that came in had to come look at Ryan. They all had the same frowning mouth and wrinkled forehead with their eyebrows all pushed together, and Ryan knew, without having to eavesdrop, that none of them wanted him. Of course, he eavesdropped anyway, and he was right.

He ran out to the backyard. It was late afternoon, and the shadows were long. He wished that he could go back to life the way it was two weeks ago. He wished that he had nice relatives. He wished he could hide in the shadows outside and never come out.

There was a particularly dark, deep shadow by the old oak tree. He couldn’t see the outline of the grass below it or the fence behind it. It was inky black, like a bottomless hole had been punched out of the yard and left in the middle of the shadow.

Someone inside started to yell. Ryan looked over his shoulder at the lighted windows of Great-Aunt Josephine’s house, and then he looked back to the darkest shadow.   He wished and wished and wished, and then he jumped straight into the center of the shadow.

He didn’t land on anything at all. The yard and Great-Aunt Josephine’s house and all the terrible relatives disappeared, and Ryan was falling through nothing. Now that his wish had come true, Ryan wasn’t completely certain that it was what he wanted after all.

But, he had no idea how to go back or stop falling.   So, he waited. And eventually, he landed. He fell into a pile of leaves in a park. It was night, and a light rain was falling. The slimy leaves stuck to him as he stood up.

Where was he? He felt a little dizzy. The streetlamps were twisty and odd, and the light was blue. It was hard to tell if anything was the right color. The playground in the park had swings and slides of all different widths, heights, and sizes.

In the side of a hill nearby, there was a door.   Looking around, he saw little doors set into the ground all around him. There was a little house in the branches of a tree nearby. Further away, he could see houses, lined up along a normal looking road.

He started walking towards the houses. He could see right away that they were all different shapes and sizes. What sort of place was this, and who lived here?

He stopped in front of a house that was about the size of Great-Aunt Josephine’s. Unlike her house, it was sort of roundish, rocky, and cave-like. But it had flowers along the wall in front. Mom used to plant flowers in front of their house.   Ryan knocked on the door.

A monster answered the door. It was furry and purple with three eyes and four arms and sharp yellow teeth. And it was wearing a nice plaid shirt and jeans, just like Dad used to change into when he came home from work.

Ryan smiled. “Hello,” he said. “I think I’m lost.”

He soon learned that monsters came in all shapes and sizes and colors. Some were nice, and some were not. The family in the cave house adopted Ryan, and they were very nice indeed.

He missed his old family, but he knew that not every wish could come true. He was happy that at least one of his wishes did. He went to monster school and loved it. He made friends and learned lots of new things and grew up.

Eventually, he found a job as a tour guide for monsters traveling to the human world on vacation, heavily bundled up and disguised, during the off-season. Once, when he had a break, he visited Great-Aunt Josephine’s house. She didn’t live there any more.